What is the number one aspect of the self storage business that stops people from starting or expanding their business?
If you read or watched last week’s episode, you know what I think it is.
Fear!
I have seen fear paralyze people from taking the next step, or any step for that matter.
Last week I started covering the five practices I use that can make a difference in how you handle fear, especially in our business lives. All of these were taught to me by my mentors and people who’s success I admire and study. If you haven’t read or watched last week’s episode, please click here.
If you did, you’ll remember the first two were:
Practice One: Feed and Strengthen your Mind Daily; and
Practice Two: Feed and Strengthen Your Body Daily.
Now let’s explore the rest of them.
Practice Three: Find The Right Mentor or Role Model.
In my opinion, there is no such thing as a self-made person.
A bold statement that many will disagree with, but I stand by it.
We all stand on the shoulders of those that have gone before us and taught us. Yes, we were the ones who did the work and have achieved whatever we have achieved. But without those who have gone before, we would have had a much harder time.
I learned early the value of a mentor, a role model, in my personal and professional life.
Everyone who I admire professionally has or had a mentor. All talk about the difference they made for them.
As Jim Rohn said (who was Tony Robbins mentor/role model), “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Or to paraphrase, “Show me your five closest friends and I can tell you your character and your net worth.”
Be selective of who you model after and spend time with. It has never been easier to find mentors, coaches, or “Master Mind” groups that support each other in personal and professional growth.
My mentors and coaches were the ones who taught me all of these practices I have chosen to work with.
Learning from others we admire, those who are successful in dealing with issues that face us all is helpful, inspiring, and can make the difference when it’s needed the most.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have been stuck, and I either remember or have a conversation with someone that freed me up to take the next step. And those conversations were not accidental or random. I sought them out because I know and value the role of a mentor.
Early in my real estate career, I was involved in a high-rise, high profile, upscale condominium development.
(I learned in that deal to stay away from condo developments. I also met some of my partners that are now in self storage with me).
I was in a partnership with many high net-worth people. There were the wealthy members, then there was me. The group had chosen to get me involved because they thought I could bring a marketing background to the table and make a difference.
Mostly I was intimidated and just watched how very rich people did business.
The deal was stalled out. We had used all our equity and there was some hesitation by the very high net-worth partners to guarantee the loan required because they felt (and rightly so) that they would have all the risk for only a portion of the upside.
The deal was going nowhere.
My coach at the time asked me what I was going to do to solve the problem.
I remember thinking “Me? How in the world can I solve their problems?”
Then I was reminded (in a not so pleasant way either) that I was acting like a total wimp. I was chosen by the group because they felt I had something to offer. My instructions were to:
(1) apologize to the group for how weak (not the word they used) I had been as a partner,
(2) let them know I was not going to be that person again in this partnership, and
(3) have a straight conversation about what could happen if we didn’t move past our positions, and make that conversation make the difference.
If I did not do that, my coaching relationship was at an end with my coach.
I called a partnership meeting. To my surprise, everyone showed up like it was a very normal thing to do to come to a meeting that I called. I completed who I had been with the group, and then shared my view of the issue and what would happen off we did not get past where we were.
In less than 2 weeks we had the loan we needed. Some of those partners then are my partners/investors now in the self storage business.
I can honestly tell you that was a conversation that never would have happened without support and direction from mentor’s/role models/coaches. I would not be where I am in self storage without that coach because those same people now have confidence in me as a partner and trusted me when I told them about self storage.
Coaches can often see what is stopping us, how our fears and weakness get in our way and they can make the difference.
Find them. Seek them out. Use their experience, perspective, courage to help shape and direct you. Sometimes (most of the time) I have had to pay for that service, but it has made all the difference in the world. I can’t imagine a career without coaching and role models.
It makes all the difference when we are stopped by fear.
Practice Four: Proximity is Power.
Being with and in the same space as people you are modeling yourself after is real power. When one has power, it is much harder for fear to have a long shelf life.
I learned early in my career to continuously attend conferences and conventions to improve myself and stay on top of industry trends.
I also was taught to spend at least 10% of the income I earn on personal improvement. It’s one thing to read a book by someone. It’s another thing to go to a seminar or convention hosted by that person.
If I am trying to learn to meditate, and I read a book by someone on the subject, that’s great. However, if I go to a program that person is putting on, get in their space, talk with or listen to them, practice with them, that is a whole other experience. Which one has more power?
If I read a book about a millionaire’s mindset, or get to go to a program put on by that author, which has more power? Which will have a more lasting effect?
It is important to go to training and get in the presence of the people or groups you want to learn from.
When fear and doubt arise, the power you have obtained from being with these people can make the difference.
It is my personal belief that our inherent way of being as humans is to be courageous, powerful and have a need to give and support others. However, over the years through repetition and socialization, we are taught that we are small, dependent, and must watch out for number one.
Every time I talk, write, or work with someone, part of my intention is to wake up what is inside each of us, myself included.
I believe with every fiber of my being we have more inherent power that we can possibly imagine.
I spend time every year being with others who will recognize and bring that out in me so I can get comfortable being with and working with that power.
I recommend that you do the same. When fear strikes, as it always will, you have access to something from within that can only be realized from being in the presence of others who have done the same thing.
Practice Five: Always Give More Than You Expect To Receive
I learned this from Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich.
For some reason, it stuck and early in my real estate career I tried to reinforce that principle daily.
Then about ten years ago, I began to hear it often and in many forms from other speakers and mentors I had been following (Tony Robbins, personal business coaches, etc.).
The reason I included it here is because I’ve realized over the years it takes real courage to be that person.
In order to be the person who gives more than you expect to receive, you must have an inner belief that there is more to the world than what you see with your eyes or can make an immediate connection with.
It’s so much what you do, but by being a certain way. Being in a way that provides more than expected or even called for provides something for us. It takes a leap of faith. That leap of faith comes from deep within. The same place the inherent power and courage lies we discussed in Practice Four.
What I have noticed over the years, and could only see from the perspective of years of practice, is that fear has a hard time taking hold and existing for any sustained length of time in the mind of someone who has Practice Five as a conscious practice.
The good news is you do not have to be perfect at this. I would be dead in the water if it worked that way.
But by consciously working on BEING someone who Always Gives More Than They Receive, the consciousness of that person does not provide a fertile ground for fear to have a long shelf life.
Conversely, if someone is always seeking out how to get an advantage over others, how to win at other’s expense, how to maximize for themselves regardless of what it does to others, that person’s way of being is totally focused on themselves.
Almost everything can show up as a threat. That is fertile ground for fear to exist and linger.
Practice Five takes courage, the kind of courage that compels one to act, even when fear is present. It is that action that shortens fear’s shelf life in our consciousness.
These Five Practices are a lifetime endeavor. One never masters them. But that is the good news.
Just like growing our self storage business, there is no final destination to get to. The thrill and fulfillment is the journey itself and who we get to be for ourselves and others as we go on the journey.
My invitation is to start using these practices and then watch the impact they have on your personal and professional life. Then when fear arises, as it does for all human beings, there is not much space for it to exist.
Then you can move forward, despite fear, in this great business called self storage.
